So if 45 mpg doesn’t change the equation, how about 70? Suck on that for a second. Forty-five is probably a lot better than whatever you’re driving, but it’s still within the realm of the imaginable. But 70? It’s absurd. Perfect, then.
For absolutely no other reason than the fact that a good theme seems to be developing entirely on its own, $7,000 seems like the kind of irresistibly low price that would make even Arnold give up his monster truck.
That narrows us down to one last choice, one last diesel-friendly product of Giugiaro’s origami period: the Scirocco’s upright, responsible older sister, the Rabbit Diesel herself. Aerodynamically, it’s no Pantera, but we can get one cheap, we can put a plate on it and maybe, just maybe, we can glue on enough aerodynamic wizardry to make her slide through the air.
So just like that, we have a plan.
Step 1: We’ll buy a 1981 Volkswagen Rabbit Diesel right here in New York City.
Step 2: We’ll drive it across thousands of miles of frozen tundra to Regina, Saskatchewan, where CWS Tuning will skillfully replace the clattery old oil burner with a modern, computer-controlled, turbocharged VW TDI engine.
Step 3: We’ll head south to sunny Southern California to thaw our bones and have UCLA aerodynamics professor John McNulty show us how to make a brick slippery.